I can’t sleep and found myself crying in the middle of the night because of what he did to me years ago.

It’s been 4 years, 1 month and 2 days since the day i found out my most important person in the world cheated on me. I’ve been fall in love and got my heart broken to several guys since then. But i still find myself crying over the same person…

I wasn’t even thinking about him. But those sad memories still can find its way to climb to the surface.

Maybe there were triggers that i wasn’t aware of earlier today.

I wish there was a shut down button in my brain. I wish i were in that movie where Kate Winslet able to remove her memories. I want to erase these memories. I want to erase everything about him so i don’t have to feel like this anymore.

Or maybe because i am so scared to start a relationship… It’s like… Everytime i try to open up myself to someone, all those bad memories suddenly popping out like warnings. Stopping me from falling in love.

This. Is. A fucked up thing to be happened to a person.

Anyone who read this… Please. Please. Don’t ever cheat to your partner. You don’t know what kind of pain you’d leave to that someone. No one deserves pain like this. If you’re not happy with your partner, leave. Don’t cheat. Cause you might leave him/her a permanent damage.

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Fulltime Dreamer

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