The Things That I Never Had The Chance to Told You

I don’t want to change you.

Hence i leave.

I trusted you. But you lied to me so many times. I tried so many time after that, and you kept failing me. Maybe you are that kind of person. Maybe you are just not good on keeping your words. Maybe you only think about yourself, not considering how your actions could hurt people. People you said mean the world for you. People you said you love.

Maybe you just don’t understand what love actually is.

Maybe, you’ve lied so many times you forget how to just tell things as it is, and be a decent human.

And me. I am a sad person, and you know that. I’d rather hear painful honesty than beautiful lies.

You’ve seen my scars. You’ve heard my midnight cries. And i know, i know it hurt you when you heard me crying. But it wasn’t enough to move your heart and to treat me better. You used my weaknesses for your own entertainment instead.

I seek for a home in people. While you’re a moving vehicle, you go whenever whereever you like to. I wanted to trust and to feel love again. And all you wanted was being loved, without giving back the love you received.

I wanted to be someone’s priority, while you were looking for distraction when you are alone and bored. I wanted time, you just wanted to kill time.

See how that went?

We were looking for different things. It’s a waste of time to try settle everything between us.

And i don’t want to change you.

I don’t want you to be a better person for me. I want you to be a better person for yourself.

Maybe one day you will fall in love with a girl who can put up with your ignorances, who can bring the best out of you. A girl who will make you want to be the best man in her life. She’ll make you want to protect her, and you’ll be afraid to hurt her in any way. You’d rather die than seeing her crying.

I wish I could be that girl.

I broke my own heart to save you from a girl like me. I left to make you realise that what you had for me wasn’t love. It was just loneliness.

Precious one, you’ll heal. Believe me. Even without me.

You don’t have to change, you don’t have to do things you don’t want.

I love you. But being betrayed and broken, has taught me that love fades. And loving the wrong person, could break me more than i am now. I don’t want to be the kind of girl who seek cure from other people, and ended up dissapointed.

My precious, you will heal. You will fall in love. And someone will love you more than i love you, or any girl that has loved you before. You deserve someone who trust you, and understands you.

Please be happy. And please don’t ever forget about me.

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Fulltime Dreamer

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